YOU SAID:
You farted and pooped in the kitchen and now my wife smells of cabbage and cheesy potatoes.
INTO JAPANESE
おならしてキッチンでウンチだからし、今私の妻は、安っぽいジャガイモとキャベツのにおいがします。
BACK INTO ENGLISH
Kitchen at the poop and fart right now my wife is the smell of cheesy potatoes and cabbage and mustard.
INTO JAPANESE
うんちおなら今私の妻は、安っぽいジャガイモとキャベツ、マスタードの香りでキッチン。
That didn't even make that much sense in English.