YOU SAID:

Well gosh darn it I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too.

INTO JAPANESE

まあまあそれは私は私のケーキを食べることができないと思います。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

Ok so it thinks i can't eat my cake.

INTO JAPANESE

わかりましたので、ケーキは食べられないと思います。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

I understand that I can't eat cake.

INTO JAPANESE

私はケーキを食べることができないことを理解しています。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

I understand that I can't eat cake.