YOU SAID:
Ugh I am failing and I am winning and I am eating.
INTO JAPANESE
うーん、私は失敗していて、勝っていて、食べています。
BACK INTO ENGLISH
Well, I'm failing, winning, eating.
INTO JAPANESE
まあ、私は失敗し、勝ち、食べています。
BACK INTO ENGLISH
Well, I'm failing, winning, eating.
That didn't even make that much sense in English.