YOU SAID:
Today I am Going to jerk me off
INTO JAPANESE
今日は私を急いで行きます
BACK INTO ENGLISH
I will rush to go today
INTO JAPANESE
今日は急いで行きます
BACK INTO ENGLISH
I will go in a hurry today
INTO JAPANESE
今日は急いで行きます
BACK INTO ENGLISH
I will go in a hurry today
That didn't even make that much sense in English.