YOU SAID:
There once was an old person in Dutton, whose head was as small as a button, so to make it look big he purchases a wig and rapidly rushed about Dutton.
INTO JAPANESE
かつてはダットンに頭がボタンのように小さい老人がいたので、見た目を大きくするためにかつらを購入し、すぐにダットンを急いだ。
BACK INTO ENGLISH
There used to be an old man in Dutton whose head was as small as a button, so he bought a wig to make it look bigger and immediately hurried Dutton.
it is unlikely that this phrase will ever reach equilibrium