YOU SAID:
"The Baudelaires' new guardian is wracked with fear and panic They end upon a boat that might as well be the Titanic We polled a bunch of adults 99% agree There must be something happier on screen for you to see."
INTO JAPANESE
「Baudelaires の新たな後見人はタイタニック号我々 は大人の 99% に同意する必要があります何かスクリーンを参照してくださいあなたため幸せ束をポーリングも同様かもしれないボートにそいつらパニックと恐怖苦しむ。」
That didn't even make that much sense in English.