YOU SAID:

my trousers are too tight to restrain me from dying in a painful and upsetting way with my witty and pretty dog

INTO JAPANESE

私のズボンはきつすぎて、機知に富んだかわいい犬と一緒に痛みを伴う動揺して死ぬのを防ぐことができません

BACK INTO ENGLISH

My pants are too tight to prevent painful upset and death with a cute witty dog

INTO JAPANESE

私のズボンはきつすぎて、かわいい機知に富んだ犬との痛みを伴う動揺と死を防ぐことができません

BACK INTO ENGLISH

My pants are too tight to prevent painful upset and death with a cute witty dog