YOU SAID:
if i killed myself right now nobody would know
INTO JAPANESE
私が今自分を殺したなら誰も知らないだろう
BACK INTO ENGLISH
No one will know if I killed myself now
INTO JAPANESE
私が今自殺したかどうかは誰にもわかりません
BACK INTO ENGLISH
No one knows if I committed suicide now
INTO JAPANESE
今私が自殺したかどうかは誰にも分かりません
BACK INTO ENGLISH
No one knows if I committed suicide now
That didn't even make that much sense in English.