YOU SAID:

i sharted on my fifth cousin twice removed's toilet. I honestly feel bad.

INTO JAPANESE

私は5番目のいとこを2回トイレから外しました。正直気分が悪い。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

I took my fifth cousin out of the bathroom twice. To be honest, I feel sick.

INTO JAPANESE

私は5人目のいとこを2回トイレから連れ出しました。正直、気分が悪いです。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

I took my fifth cousin out of the bathroom twice. To be honest, I feel sick.