YOU SAID:

I like you like a brother but i said not to let me into your house for pizza or tacos as you wish and i was speaking fluently to him as i told him to slash the tires and he told me to not ever do that

INTO JAPANESE

兄弟をようでもない希望し、私は流暢に話す彼にタイヤをスラッシュと言ったら、彼は今までそれを行うに私ピザやタコスのあなたの家に入れてもらえるようにと言って

BACK INTO ENGLISH

Brother not like I speak fluently he said slash tires, and would he ever do it to I say to get your pizza or Taco House