YOU SAID:

Don't talk to me unless the substitute dies or something dire happens

INTO JAPANESE

代わりの人が死ぬか悲惨なことが起こらない限り私と話しないでください

BACK INTO ENGLISH

Don't talk to me unless the substitute dies or misery

INTO JAPANESE

代用者が死ぬか惨めにならない限り私に話さない

BACK INTO ENGLISH

I will not talk to me unless the substitute dies or becomes miserable

INTO JAPANESE

代理人が死ぬか惨めにならない限り私は私と話しません

BACK INTO ENGLISH

I will not talk to me unless the agent dies or becomes miserable

INTO JAPANESE

エージェントが死ぬか惨めにならない限り私は私と話しません

BACK INTO ENGLISH

I will not talk to me unless the agent dies or becomes miserable